An Attitude of Gratitude

We’re living in strange times; that’s for sure.

It may sound crazy, but I’ve seen some really interesting attitudes reflected in social media posts these last couple weeks. Yesterday was Easter Sunday, and by the time I was scrolling through my feeds before bed, I noticed post after post from many of you commenting that this was the most wonderful Easter you can remember. It seems when we strip down all the ‘extra’ stuff we elevate during our pre-pandemic lives and focus on the essentials we seem to have more room to focus on all the things that truly are most important.

Back to Basics: Family. Health. Shelter. Food. Relationships. (in no particular order, of course)

I’ve also seen folks posting about how grateful they’ll be to get back to their office or school, to hear there’s a wait at their favorite restaurant to be seated or to watch a sporting event (in person or on TV.) The list goes on and on. I live at the beach and never even realized how awful it is to see the ocean every day but not be able to go sit down there and enjoy it. I won’t take that for granted again.

Every night before we fall asleep I ask my husband what the best part of his day was. It’s my way of ending the day in a mindset of gratitude- even in hard times. I’ll be honest, on those hard days, it can feel difficult to figure out what we’re grateful for that doesn’t seem silly. And that’s how I know it’s more important than ever to make sure we do it. During times of difficulty, gratitude is sometimes mind over matter. We have to make ourselves focus on it!

So what lessons can we learn from this refocus on realizing what’s important during these trying times, and how do we hold onto them when life gets back to ‘normal?’ (Also, what is ‘normal?’)

Some things I think can of to help us hold on to the gratitude we feel:

• Keep a gratitude journal. On your own (or bonus points if you include input from your family each day) write down what you’re thankful for. Nothing is too big or small. One day I was grateful I got to snuggle with my three sweet puppies, and another day all I could write down was that I was grateful my family has avoided the Corona Virus. The thing is, I know when this has passed, it will be interesting to look back on this journal, and use it to recenter myself when it’s needed. You certainly don’t need anything more than a spiral bound notebook to write in, but if you (like me) enjoy beautiful books/journals, there’s a gratitude journal in the LetterJess shop that would be perfect to start writing in during this time. You can find it here.)

• Make a vase of happy thoughts. One year for my birthday a friend gave me a glass vase filled with small pieces of paper. On each piece of paper was a memory of something fun we’d done together, a funny saying/inside joke, or a quote that meant something to us. The purpose of this jar was so I’d be surrounded by things that would make me smile. If I was having a hard day, or feeling lonely, all I had to do was read a piece of paper from the vase and a smile was not far behind. It was a spectacular gift! (Maybe an idea to pass time with your family is to not only make a happy thought vase for your home, but make one to send to a friend or family member during this quarantine!)

• Send a note in the mail to a friend. Tell them why you are grateful for them or share a fun memory you have together that has made you smile. In this time of feeling distant from each other, finding an unexpected note in the mail could be an amazing pick-me-up for someone you love. If you can’t get something in the mail, a text or email like this is also a special treat for someone to receive.

My challenge to you is to take time to focus on what you’re grateful for. We’ve all heard it said before, but it’s true:

When we are truly grateful for all we have, it becomes enough.

I hope you know how grateful I am you’re here. Your support means the world to me, and I wouldn’t have the opportunity to do something I love if it wasn’t for you. What are you grateful for today?

Laughing Through the Ugly Cry

Have you ever been in the middle of an awful situation and then suddenly without explanation something happens that catches your attention and gives you even the quickest moment of relief- a burst of laughter that breaks the tension of what you’re dealing with?
Does that brief moment take away the terrible scenario you’re dealing with in that moment? No. But when they happen and you’re able to laugh- even for a second- through the ugly cry, you are reminded of the hope “that this too shall pass.”

My friend Dawn Barton knows this so well she’s actually left behind a successful career in sales to write about it. And thank heavens she did, friend because her book “Laughing through the Ugly Cry” is a story you NEED to read. Since it went on pre-sale over on Amazon today, I wanted to share with you why I’m buying lots of copies and you should too.

I met Dawn early in 2017 at a conference. We chatted ever so briefly at that event, but since then our friendship has blossomed. Dawn has been a source of inspiration, encouragement and support as I’ve started my journey with LetterJess. She’s introduced me to other amazing women who are on their own entrepreneurial journeys and has called me more than once to remind me I can do ‘the thing;’ whatever ‘the thing’ is at that moment.

Dawn has faced almost any challenge you can imagine. Some of the most unimaginably awful things have happened to her and to the people she loves most and through it all she’s chosen JOY. From her battle with cancer, surviving a violent sexual assault in her home, losing a child- and so much more, Dawn’s story is one of pursuing joy in the toughest of times. Here’s what’s different about this book and her encouragement to choose joy if you find yourself also in the pits of the awful things life can bring: She doesn’t expect you to just smile through it and assure you it’ll all be okay. She tells you like it is, that sometimes it’s not ‘okay,’ but you can still let those moments push you toward the pursuit of better things to come. Sometimes, the news just sucks and you’re left reeling from what it means- but about that same time your prosthetic breast falls out of your swimsuit on a boat day with your friends and you have no choice but to laugh…while your friend’s child innocently wonders what that thing in the water is.

Why am I writing about Dawn and her book? The answer to that is simple. I want you to read it. I want you to give it to everyone you know so they can read it. Dawn’s message in this book is one the world needs to hear right now. She took a leap of faith leaving a successful career in sales (one that saw her picture in Times Square to celebrate her success) to write this book. Her story will make you laugh, cry, feel inspired, get angry and then encouraged all at nearly the same time. She’s written her story with a raw voice, and I couldn’t put it down.

I’m so grateful God saw fit to allow my path to cross Dawn’s. I’ve already learned so much from her and am SO, SO, SO proud to call her my friend. You can find her on social media and follow her continuing journey of Joy. (Instagram: @dawnrbarton Facebook: Dawn Barton, Joyologist) You won’t regret it. Her posts make me laugh each day, and it’s been so fun to watch her on this book publishing journey.

I love this book so much I’m working on getting copies of it to carry in the LetterJess shop, but don’t wait for that. You can order the book now on Amazon and it will ship to you as soon as it’s officially released.

Dawn, if you read this- I love you. I’m so grateful for you and all the light you’ve brought to my life and to the world around you. You are #goals, baby! Can’t wait to see you soon!

Show of Hands

A couple days ago I stood in front of the kitchen counter pulling a knife through a warm potato so I could add it to a mixture of ingredients soon to become potato salad.  The house was buzzing with visiting family members getting their day started; some readying for a day at the beach, others catching up on the morning news. I was humming some nameless tune when I caught a glance of the way my hands were moving as I sliced the potato into small cube shapes. Isn’t it funny how a tiny little action like cutting a potato can rush you back to a memory of something or someone in such an intense fashion that you feel almost completely overcome with emotion? 

I always notice people’s hands and have not-so-secretly wished I had a set of those small, dainty hands with perfectly rounded fingernails that glide through the air elegantly as someone speaks. I don’t have those hands. Mine are actually pretty large for a lady. My fingers are long, and a little on the stumpy side. But that day, as I glanced at my own hands memories of the thousand times I’d seen Maw Maw Tish cut potatoes the same exact way came rushing back. Although I’ve always known my hands were shaped like hers, until catching that glimpse of the same cutting motion I’d seen her repeat, I hadn’t ever truly appreciated that having “her hands” could be something that can keep me connected to her now. And with that realization, I can truthfully say I wouldn’t change the shape of my hands now even if I could. I’ve never loved them more because I can look at them and feel close to her again; several years after her passing when I’m starting a brand-new phase of my own life. And let me tell you something: 

She. Would. Love. This. 

 I’m lucky to have been surrounded by parents, grandparents on both sides, and even great-grandparents who were nothing short of amazing. Each talented in their own way taught me so many things to shape me into the person I’ve become. But it was never a secret that I was Maw Maw’s girl. My Grandmother “Maw Maw” Tish was a dynamo. We shared a special bond that is honestly hard to explain in a short blog post. I admired her spunk. She was witty and stubborn in all the good (and bad) ways. She wore the heck out of her high-heeled shoes and could cook a meal so tasty you’d swear it’d been touched by an angel.  She never sought personal fame or spotlight for anything she did as an individual, but she poured her heart and soul into her family. She fought literally and figuratively for us to have what we needed, to give us every chance we could to be successful in our own ways and to prepare us to take advantage of opportunities she never had. She made me feel invincible; built the foundation of my self-confidence because she showed me my thoughts and opinions mattered. And then there were the little ways she taught me to appreciate what a wonderful gift it is to be a young lady (a girly-girl, if you will.) She let me dab on her Chanel No. 5 when I visited, and never blinked an eye when my clumsy 7-year-old hands dropped the brand-new bottle she’d just received from my grandfather as a gift.  I can’t help but giggle remembering our ‘date’ when I was 6 where she taught me how to cut a piece of steak correctly or the time decades later when we saw Harry Connick Jr in a mall shop. She introduced herself to him so she could be sure to tell him we were going to the concert later that night. (She said that was for my benefit, but I’m pretty sure she waited as long as possible to wash her hand after shaking his!)  I could go on and on about what she meant to me, and maybe there will be blog posts to come where I can allow you to get to know her better. But for now, as I publish this website and blog as a symbolic start to my life as a creative entrepreneur it’s impossible for me to not acknowledge her. When she passed away my feelings were far too raw to be able to speak publicly about how much she shaped my dreams as a young girl, but there isn’t much about my life today I can’t say was shaped in some way by something we talked or dreamed about together. 

 I’ve been asked several times recently about what kind of blog this will be. I want to share experiences, great finds, finished projects and perhaps some reflections about things that motivate me. I spoke to Maw Maw Tish on the phone nearly every single day until she passed away. In the end dementia began to rob us of those conversations; all those hours spent sharing the goings-on in our worlds. She was always one of the first people I called whenever anything happened. Good or bad, something happening to me wasn’t real until I got to tell her about it. I miss that so, so much. As launch day draws closer it’s dawned on me that if I have to sum up what this blog is all about, I’d say it’s my way of continuing those conversations with her now. When I finish a LetterJess project, discover something that just has to be shared or even wonder “Does this top work with this skirt?” I want to put it out there, share it with you and hope there’s someone in heaven who can turn a computer on for her so she can see it too. For those theologians among us, yes, I realize there aren’t likely to be computers in heaven. Just let me imagine her there wondering how to enlarge the text just a little bit so she can see it better. 

 Maw Maw Tish and I  had a few discussions about our hands. She was the first to point out to me that ours looked the same. She called them “man hands” sometimes to make me laugh and told me I needed big hands to do big things. She would love knowing I’m using our ‘man hands’ to do something I truly love. And she would be so proud I have people like you in my life who are supporting and encouraging me to take this chance. So now every stroke of the pointed pen for a calligraphy project, click of the mouse in the design programs as we work on your stationery, and yes- slicing of potatoes for the next potato salad will be done with hands that look just like hers. It’s a way I can still do things with her. 

 The mission of LetterJess is a simple one. I want everything I do through this company to INSPIRE DELIGHT- something Maw Maw always did for me. We don’t spend enough time doing that for each other, so in ways large and small I want to make things for you and share things with you that will build this tiny corner of the world into the most delightful place it can possibly be. One notecard, one invitation, one envelope at a time we can smile and know we’re thought of, remembered and loved. 

Hand on hip, polka dots and ruffles: Maw Maw Tish was style inspiration with a sass all her own.

One of the last pictures taken with Maw Maw Tish before dementia affected her so deeply she wasn’t herself. I will always treasure it.